


Memento

by Setii



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes-centric, Car Accidents, Gen, Graphic Description of Corpses, Hurt No Comfort, Minor Character Death, more or less anyway, teen!Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 00:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14738357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Setii/pseuds/Setii
Summary: There are things about the car crash that Bucky remembers and some that he has locked away deep inside his mind.(high school!AU - Bucky loses his father and his arm in a car accident.)





	Memento

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: There is a rather graphic description of crash victims at the end of this, so you might want to stop right here if this kind of topic bothers you. I don't want to upset anyone.

 

* * *

  
  
  
I.  
The cold  
July 4th shouldn't be this cold because it never is, never was. Yet he's here, shaking. His lips are trembling, but maybe that's because of the tears he's shedding - they're hot on his cheeks. There's something warm and wet, lazily running down his left shoulder. Everything else is freezing and Bucky thinks that this can't be normal, that there has to be something wrong.  
  
  
  
II.  
The quiet  
His father's the first one to scream at the top of his lungs and then Bucky's screaming, too. Tires are squeaking, he hears his father kicking the brake hard - and then there's this ear-splitting crack. More creaking, more screaming, more sounds that he's never heard before.  
And suddenly, it's quiet. Too quiet. There's nothing there and for a moment he wonders if he's gone deaf.  
  
   
  
  
III.  
The smell  
It's smells like his sister forgot meatloaf in the oven again. Or maybe it's the dog who slept too close to the fireplace and burned it's fur, like that one time way back in January. It's a mix of both and something else entirely. It smells like iron, like metal, like fire, like flame. He feels sick just thinking about it.  
      
  
  
  
IV.  
The lights  
They're flashing, blue and red and blue and red and he needs some time to remember what it means.  
Is it good? Is it bad?  
His head feels heavy and everything around him is caught in a haze. There's someone talking to him through the broken front shield, but there's no sense to their words so Bucky just stares and doesn't say anything.  
Blue, red, blue, red, blue,…  
      
  
  
  
V.  
The calm  
He should be scared.  
He doesn't know why, though. Maybe he isn't as calm as he thinks he is, because - hey, his body's still shaking and there's no sound coming out of his mouth when he parts his lips to speak. He's calm when someone cuts the metal next to his head with something that could very well be a chainsaw. He's even calmer when someone grabs him, pulls him out from in between bent metal and places his non-responding body on something warm and soft.  
And then he's out like a light.  
  
   
  
 

* * *

  
  
  
   
  
+I.  
He can't remember lying on his side, staring towards the steering wheel. His father's hands are still gripping it tight, but his arms are pointing towards the car top at an awkward angle, all bloody and mangled.  
He can't remember his father's face (which actually is only half a face) one hazy eye staring back at him. There's blood trickling down George's cheek, over torn muscle and shredded skin, dripping from his chin onto his not-so-white shirt.  
Bucky can't remember. Neither the blood nor the gasps and gurgles coming from his fathers throat. The smell of death an decay. Nothing.  
Sometimes, when Bucky wakes from a nightmare (screaming) he has a feeling that he's better off this way.


End file.
